🤐 The "Power" of Low Self-Esteem
Being hard on yourself can be helpful -- until it isn't
Low Self-Esteem is a gift and a curse for high-achievers — it means you are constantly pushing yourself for more, but you’re also painfully cruel
and unforgiving to yourself. With this mindset, you can get a lot done.
But, you may also forget to give yourself credit, forgive yourself when things get too hard to bear, and remind yourself how awesome your existence is.
Many people who become obsessed with the process of bettering themselves — especially in the realm of fitness — might harness the power of low self-esteem.
They’ll achieve something great, like an amazingly heavy lift or a tough race, and then before congratulating themselves, they’re already onto the next task or goal. There may be a lot to unpack in each individual as to why that self-esteem issue is there.
Newsletter Summary
Why some famous figures’ accomplishments are embodiments of The Power of Low Self-Esteem
How you can keep your self-esteem high (it’s easier than you think if you try)
One quote to get you through Hump Day
💪 The Power of Low Self-Esteem
Winston Churchill is chronicled as one of the great war generals of World War II, having led troops into insurmountable battles and came out victorious on multiple occasions.
He’s revered in European history for his leadership, he won a Nobel Prize for Literature in 1953 for his writings and foresaw the reach of the Soviets ahead of the Cold War in his later years.
But behind all his achievements are questions about how he views himself.
The power of low self-esteem is apparent in Churchill’s story when you consider how feeble he may have felt in his father’s eyes. In September of 1893, he was admitted on his third attempt to the Sandhurst Military College of England and wrote to his father to send him the good news.
His father, a former statesman, responded a week later:
“You should be ashamed of your slovenly, happy-go-lucky, harem-scarem style of work. Never have I received, really, any good report of your conduct from any headmaster or tutor. Always behind; incessant complaints, and a total want of application to your work. You have failed to get into the 60th Rifles, the finest regiment of the army. You have imposed on me a charge of two-hundred pounds a year.
Do not think that I am going to take the trouble of writing you long letters after ever failure you commit and undergo. I no longer attach the slightest weight to anything you may say.
If you cannot prevent yourself from leading the idle, useless, unprofitable life you’ve had during your school days, you will become a mere social wastrel; one of the hundreds of public school failures. And you will degenerate into a shabby, unhappy, and futile existence. You will have to bear all the blame for such misfortunes.
Your mother sends her love.
Churchill was 19 when he received this abhorrent note from his father.
I’m no psychologist, but I have to imagine Churchill probably had a hard time feeling good about himself after this — even after defeating Nazi Germany in a triumphant victory, his low-self esteem probably still prevailed to a degree.
The power of low self-esteem is also prevalent in last week’s newsletter about Ethan Suplee.
It’s a tough pill to swallow, but for all the accomplishments he achieved in his acting career, he was achieving them without a sense of feeling whole.
Churchill and Suplee’s stories are not isolated incidents.
We might be pushing toward something with brute force to compensate for something within us that is saying, “You’re not good enough.”
Which begs the question… What is the point of success in something if we can’t even enjoy the thrill of succeeding at it?
Neil Strauss, a renowned author, and co-writer of The Creative Act, the focal point of Monday’s newsletter, has an upcoming book titled The Power of Low Self-Esteem.
🎨 Fitness As An Art Form
Exercise is a scientific process, as much as people don’t want to acknowledge it as such. It’s also, in my view, a form of art. It requires expression. There is no one way to achieve good fitness. The beauty in achieving optimal health is that there are multiple pathways, much like there are multiple cultivations of artwork…
Strauss’ upcoming book will likely highlight successful people that we idolize, analyzing the inner textures of their minds and what it takes to be who they are.
But it may also pose the question — would we want to trade our minds for theirs?
In other words, would we want to suffer through the daily low levels of self-esteem those people have to achieve their lifestyle? It’s a question worth thinking about.
🫵 How to Have High Self-Esteem
Whether it’s self-consciousness about your body image, a distaste for the way you say or present things, or just an overall feeling of inadequacy, there are many forms of creeping low self-esteem that can cripple us more than they enable us.
But low self-esteem doesn’t have to be an incurable disease.
As much as it can drive good performance, low self-esteem removes us from the exhilaration of accomplishment and can spell trouble for your health.
It could lead to bouts of overtraining (or as I like to call it, “under-recovering”), nutritional relapses, sleepless nights and auto-immune issues.
You don’t want your self-esteem to backfire on your fitness.
Here are some ways I recommend taking care of yourself to keep your morale high.
Keep a journal of your “done” list instead of a “to-do” list. Unfinished to do lists leave you feeling defeated. Taking notes of daily accomplishments is a nicer way to reframe your day’s wins.
Stop and pause for a moment to smile. The act of smiling alone elicits a serotonin release. During this pause, reflect on the progress from the past week or the past month. If you’ve done any positive work at all, career or health-wise, that’s worth a congratulations.
Ask yourself regularly if the you of five years ago would be proud of you today. The former-self timeframe on this question is flexible. Almost always, the answer is that your past self is proud.
🔍One Quote To Get You Through Hump Day
“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
— Louise Hay, Author
See you all on Friday.
I loooved this Fran! Perfect reminder to take with me into the weekend :)